For about a year and a half, from February of 2005 through June of 2006, I wrote the sex column for UCLA's student run newspaper: The Daily Bruin. I wrote about anything and everything related to sex. Unlike other columns, such as Berkeley's "Sex on Tuesday" when it was authored by Andrea Demaray (this is one of my favorites), I never delved into the detailed "how to", but rather stuck to the basic educational, the political, the general "why not?", and most importantly the "tolerate." I wanted to try and help people understand the multitude of ways there were to express both sexuality and gender, and through understanding to try and keep people from being judgmental of sexual practices that were "different" as they figured out what was right for them.
In some ways I felt I succeeded, in many other ways I didn't. I definitely got my share of hate letters from both the student population and the surrounding community, but I also got a lot of positive feedback, mostly from girls, some of whom told me that because of specific columns they felt more empowered with regards to their sexuality.
Success or no success, being a sex columnist was definitely an interesting and eyeopening experience. It isn't everyday when it's your job to go out and interview a stripper, a survivor of rape, or the creator of a sex machine. And while, yes, there were nuisances including the annoying, overeager, and assuming emails as well as the presumptions people made about me, there were almost as many emails asking legitimate questions. The one that sticks out in my mind the most was from a 25 year old soon to be Stanford graduate student. She asked me where her clitoris was.
Maybe it seems as if college sex columns are just a fad: the next generation thinking they're the first ones to discover sex. But I think it's more than that. I think sex columns are a reaction to the abominable state of sex education in this country, the lack of communication between parents and kids, and the want for more accepting attitudes. I'm sure the 25 year old that asked me where her clitoris is isn't the only one that doesn't know; and I'm even more sure that there are people with questions that they will never be brave enough to ask. People have insecurities and issues that they want more information about. And while, yes, there is always the internet, children need information at a younger age than they know what keywords to type into a search engine. So until people have ready answers for their basic questions from their parents and teachers, sex columns will be there to fill in the information gap. And while I have a sinking suspicion that they might be here for quite a while longer, I hope that they'll be making their way out sooner rather than later; and that people of both genders will know where a clitoris is before they ever even get to college.
In the meantime, here are my columns if you're curious:)
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